Friday 19 February 1988

Today was one of those all-too-rare days in my adolescence.  Yep, I actually spent time chatting up a couple of girls.  Having already been to Liverpool all on my own to view the University I was off again to visit the Poly and two girls from sixth form just happened to be on the same train as me on the way there.  A captive audience!  I probably came across as a bit of a jerk really (I always did) using my pre-existing knowledge of the city to tell them about the things that they might discover when we got there.

My memory of being 18 in this context, i.e. with a couple of girls for company, is that I was painfully self conscious; wasting my opportunity to impress some females of the female persuasion by trying too hard.  I am guessing that I probably came across as a bit of a show off, trying to hog the conversation instead of allowing it to ebb and flow in the way that conversations do.  There was no Haynes manual for me on ‘how to chat up girls without looking and / or sounding like a complete pr!ck.’  If memory serves me I think that I performed a similar role in my interview, basically telling the lecturer with whom I spoke that I’d only come to see the Poly out of courtesy / interest and that my intended destination for degree study was actually visible, out of the window, just a little way further up Brownlow Hill at the University of Liverpool.  Hmm.  When I look back upon my life, especially at this time, I can’t help wondering if I was somewhere on the Autistic spectrum.  I doubt it though.  No, my thing was a  lack of self-belief – a result of some pretty insidious name calling during my early teenage years.

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