So this was it. The start of sixth form college for real. It wasn’t actually, quite as bad as I’d though it would be. I had my hair cut – very short – previously it had been arranged in one of those 80’s mullets and I had even had the back of it permed to give it some curl. Gah! Very Chris Waddle – a hairstyle that the former sausage stuffer would persist with until Italia 90 – good job that I saw the light as early as I did then! It being a Thursday and the first one of the month at that, my mum was attending Ladies’ Club and as my bad luck would have it our house was the venue so that was my evening in front of the telly gone up in flames.